ADVENTURE 18

This post has nothing to do with Texas. So if you're looking for horseshoes, cowboys, nontraditional tennis partners or anything large, I gently refer you to all other adventures. This one comes to you from San Francisco and makes me smile all over.

This past weekend I flew to my parents to visit my beautiful Aunt Mini who is visiting our family from New Delhi. I haven't seen her since 2006, so this was a real treat. She said she wanted to do something "fun" when Mala came. No pressure. :) So I began brainstorming American "fun" and came across, the one, the only, Lion King, playing at the stunning Orpheum theater. StubHub, I love you.

Here we are pre-crying, laughing, and in awe of one of the most powerful theatrical experiences I've ever had the privilege of attending.

I have A LOT of Playbills. I've saved them all since I began attending Broadway shows in 2003. If I counted, we'd be talking close to 100. I tell you this to contextualize the one I'm holding in this picture. Because it changed my life. As I'm inclined to do pre-show, I was flipping through the Playbill and all of a sudden came across this...

Does that say Wilson Phillips??!! In concert??! Aunt Mini couldn't really connect with me on this one, I  can't blame her, there is a very very small American population that can. But for those of us who love our early 90's hits, we know very well, and have most likely been changed by Wilson Phillips. So here I am sitting in the Orpheum theater, thinking, "Wow! They're back." Then I begin sulking because of course I don't live anywhere they would play, I live in stinking Houston of all places. And got sad I was going to miss them. Then I looked at the program a little closer. Read the date. And said, out loud, "Does that say November 17th??? That's today! This show starts at 8pm?! That's in 4 hours." I text this photo to my mom, told her to call Davies Symphony Hall immediately, and then the curtain came up, enter African drums.

Meanwhile this summer memory from Lake Tahoe is running through my head...

At intermission I check my phone and sure enough, my mom is freaking out. And because she's amazing and crazy capable of anything she tries, secured us 2 tickets to Wilson Phillips. My parents meet us post Lion King, we go to dinner at Umami (incredible japanese, go now), and then head to Davies Symphony Hall.

It's not everyday you see THIS on the streets of San Francisco. Or any city for that matter. 

We were just a tiny bit excited!

The whole concert was amazing. Their vocals. Their program. It felt like we were in their living room. And since I knew you'd want to be with us, I captured the encore just for you. It's a bit cut off at the end, which means you'll have "hold on" for their tour near you. 

ADVENTURE 17

Coolest coasters ever. Real horse coat. Real horse shoes. Handmade. Love.

ADVENTURE 16

My company's Book Fair had me questioning what decade I was in. Today these two notifications declared the 80's the official winner! Clip art is not a lost art form after all. Phew.

 Welcome to Houston, where money does not equal cosmopolitan.

ADVENTURE 15

Today was my first corporate book fair experience. I thought this concept died in elementary schools in the late 80's. Nope. Apparently they're alive and well in businesses in Texas. 

And it's a good thing they're still going strong. We wouldn't want the world to miss this merchandise.

And just in case you're tired of reading, work it out.

Think they're pushing their luck a little bit, don't you? I've missed the 80's.

ADVENTURE 14

Everyone says Texas is big. It's based on truth. This place is HUGE. The freeways, the soda cups, the meals, the trucks, the land, they've got "big" down. Which brings me to my next point. We've all seen this move, right?

Remember the life size piano? The one we all wanted to dance on (and the one the dedicated dreamers visited at FAO Schwarz at least once)? Well today I didn't dance on a piano. And I didn't meet Tom Hanks. But I was introduced to the largest office chair I've ever seen in my life.

Here's a side by side for comparison sake.

Clearly the one on the right is a large chair to begin with.  Here's the chair next to Bill.

And the chair with me in. Note the space to the right of me. If I were closer to my coworkers (it's only been 12 days people), I would have sat him or her next to me to prove the point.

Oh and the owner of this chair? He's about 5'9", 175lbs. 

The man just likes his chairs large, as any true Texan would.

ADVENTURE 13

Gas prices. Need I say more?  In case you can't read through the blur, that's a number 3.

"What's that you said? The restaurant is an hour away? No problem, I'll drive." 

ADVENTURE 12

Mormons love dances. And social gatherings with sugar and refined carbohydrates (we're working on it). In Texas, they evidently combine the two and put them in stunning venues. The pictures (iPhone's on the fritz) don't do this place justice, but trust me, if we drove a bunch of Manhattan-ites or Californians here, we all would have been talking about it for years. It was amazing. An hour outside of Houston, into the boonies, and voila, you've got yourself a Mormon mecca. I knew my Frye boots would come in handy.

I feel very welcome, thank you.

The barn.

The cow sled??

Me on the cow sled.

Me and Andrew on the cow sled in the rodeo rink.

The horse (naturally).

Me feeding the horse.

The horse's driveway (just in case it wasn't made clear).

 Andrew with a Lasso.

The outhouse (which was actually swanky inside).

And my favorite part of the evening was hearing this song come on and a watching a bunch of Mormon Texans imitate it. What the what?! I'm either behind in pop culture or have good taste and know that dancing to this is a really bad idea. If you want to keep your date that is. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFs-BwzNw-E

All we needed was a new DJ! 

ADVENTURE 11

One thing I love about tennis is that it's a social game. If you play at the same level, you can make friends with just about anyone. Since I'm in the market for friends, I figured I'd take my Dad's advice and "join a tennis club." It's his advice on pretty much anything you ask him.

Dad, I'm not sure what to do about my job.

It's simple Mala, join a tennis club.

Dad, I'm so stressed out lately.

Mala, you need to join a tennis club.

Dad, it's so inconvenient to play tennis in New York.

That's why I never moved there Mala. There should be more tennis clubs.

Dad I'm trying to meet people in Houston. Think it's time to join a tennis club?

Yes. I've been saying that for years.

At least he's predictable. I figured a Meet Up group is one step closer to a club. So I signed up and quickly got a response from a man named Michael. I was so pumped! Friday night, booked, a tennis match and possibly a new friend.

I drive up to the park (which is completely empty) and see the courts lit up and Michael ready to play. We start chatting, found out he recently moved here from Syracuse, NY and like me, moved here for a "business trip" (he just called it work, I like to say business trip because it's less permanent). We start rallying and I'm thrilled because a) he can hit! b) it's 75 degrees in November c) I'm playing tennis...for free...under lights...with no wait. God bless Texas!

We really for a bit and then decide to play a set. Turns out Michael creams me 6-1. And I'm ticked. We come to the net to exhibit our good sportsmanship and then Michael proceeds to get closer to me at which point I'm anticipating a pat on the back. Instead Michael brings me in to give me a hug and proceeds to put his face directly against mine, nuzzle close into my neck and hold me there...for a solid 30 seconds. Playing a set of tennis = sweat. Michael's face against mine = sweat on my cheek, neck and in my hair. As I walk back to the baseline to start the second set I'm a bit taken aback. Here I thought I had a great new tennis partner, but turns out when Lululemon makes workout clothes, they serve a dual purpose. To exercise AND get hit on. To get back at Michael, I took him down 6-4. And then took this picture so you could meet him. Please realize this was a sacrifice because he held his hand on my back for way too long, then proceed to walk me to my car, attempt a final hug, and ask for my number.

Michael, I just wanted to hit, not get hit on. You are fabulous blog post material and an excellent tennis player.

Oh and thanks for the game. Here's my gift back to you from one of my people.

And Houston, thank you for year round outdoor tennis!! 

ADVENTURE 10

Hurricane Sandy came up in discussion today and though Texans are obviously empathetic, they face more severe hurricanes more consistently. They of course brought up Hurricane Ike which took a heavy toll on Houston in 2008. As we were discussing the difference in geographic landscape (vertical vs. horizontal) between New York City / Eastern seaboard and Texas, my coworker (the same one who gave me the Subway coupon), turned to me and said,

"Well you know what we say here in Texas Mala..." 

       "No, I actually don't. What do you say?" 

"A hurricane is just like a cow pissin' on a flat rock." 

                                   "Wow."

Silence. And there you have it folks, you can't make this stuff up.

                 Moooooooooo!

ADVENTURE 9

Remember my post about guns? I told the story at an Election Party I attended (never been to one of these before) and my new friend politely said, "Excuse me", put his hand in front of me, opened his kitchen drawer, and pulled THIS out of his wallet. He followed up by saying, "Just because I don't own one now doesn't mean I may not need one in the future." He's not a Texas native people. What does the state put in their water???

And I couldn't resist this pic, a random find from my work parking lot. Classy, not trashy.

ADVENTURE 8

Yesterday I had a breakdown. In a major way that put me out of commission from about five to midnight. My social and spiritual expectations were significantly under met. I miss my friends. I miss my relationships. I miss people who "get it". So much to say here. But I think the chart I came across in my work reading today sums it all up. I sunk into my "Valley of Despair". It's been a really long time since my hope has been crushed, an effect of any sizable valley. And it stung. And hurt. I knew it was coming, just didn't see it this soon, nor this strong. I'm human, that's for certain. Definitely making the most of my "mortal" experience.

Thanks to this favorite establishment (the first one in Houston, only 1 month old!) I've moving out of Avoidance into Creativity.

Thank you Texas for brining this California girl closer to home.

ADVENTURE 7

I went to eat breakfast this morning in my hotel dining area and finally had time to use the waffle machines I'd been observing during the weekdays. They're fun - you pour the batter in, close the lid, turn them over, wait until the timer goes off, and turn them back over, open and voila, you've got yourself a piping hot waffle. As I was pouring in the batter I thought, "hmmm, this is an interesting shape" - the mold wasn't circular or square. As I opened it to the timing of the buzzer and removed the waffle, I stared at it....and there it was clear as a bell...a waffle in the shape of the state of Texas.

Brilliant, stinking brilliant.

ADVENTURE 6

I love my Dad. He's in the car industry and was kind enough to ship a car from California to Texas when he heard about my big move. He's always been amazingly generous. A few days ago the lightbulb light came on the dash. When I told my Dad, he suggested I take it to the dealer. I moaned and groaned because I anticipated high costs. But I did as I was told and what I thought was one blown bulb, turned out to be three. One headlight and both brake lights. The maintenance crew directed me to the parts counter to pick up the bulbs. They quickly delivered them to me, changed out the old ones and when they wrapped up, I naturally asked, how much do I owe you? The gentlemen just looked at me and said, "They're on the house, ma'am. You're new here. Welcome to Texas."

I love this state!

ADVENTURE 5

I'm at our family friends home for dinner. They live in the Woodlands, a sophisticated Houston suburb, in a gorgeous home. They are some of the most saintly people on the planet and have played a huge role in my life. There are about 25 of us in total, me being the newest Texas resident. There are 10 women, 2 men in the room. The majority of the women are having arts and crafts night. They were all gathered for the weekend to go the the International Quilting Show in downtown Houston. The craft of the evening is jeweled pacifier holders. Yes you read this correctly. Jeweled. As women do, we're chatting away and one woman starts talking about guns. Then another chimes in and another. I'm over on the couch talking to the two men and overhear this. So I stand up and ask, "Who in this room does not own a gun?" Myself and one other woman raise our hands. ONE!! And her response was, "Me, but I really want one. Hopefully next year." Then one girl exclaims, "My mom last Christmas couldn't decide if she wanted an embroidery machine or a laser sighted hand gun." My jaw drops (and from that point forward I asked everyone I met that evening if they owned a gun...and they all said yes) and the gentlemen I'd been chatting with proceeds to tell me about his wife, Mama Jeanie. She comes from a family of professional shooters, has 23 grandchildren, owns a baby pink handgun with rhinestones on it, and publishes a very popular site called Lipstick & Lead. Here's her truck to match.

And here are her granddaughters at a gun show.

The following morning I received a text from Jeanie's husband announcing hot off the press article in the Dallas Morning News featuring Mama Jeanie called, Gunslinging Grandma. He told me to call next time I'm in Dallas. I told him I would and that we'd go shooting. He was on board with that idea!

Fun fact: 80% of Texan women have been to a shooting range before they're 20.

You can't make this stuff up!

ADVENTURE 4

Nothing flashy today, which is kind of the point. Here's a picture of my lunch. Don't be deceived by the  trace of green - mine didn't include lettuce. The folks told me to go to the cafeteria (my Mom had the car), here's the best thing I could find. I don't think these have been sold in Manhattan. Or San Francisco. Ever.

My first reference to a work cafeteria is my first job at Ogilvy & Mather. We had a basement of food stations with discounted prices and indoor and outdoor dining options. And most of the time we didn't eat there because we could get "better" food in Hell's Kitchen. I would have given anything for that cafeteria today. Or Apple's Cafe Mac.

ADVENTURE 3

Happy Halloween! Tonight we went to my boss's house for trick or treating. We got there on the late side so most of the kids were gone. My mom was with me (bless her for helping me move and not cry every night in New York withdrawals)  and as we walked up to the beautiful home (mansion), we both noticed an 8.5" x 11" paper on the door. Curious, we continued to approach the door to have a closer look. Turns out we didn't have to get that close because in all caps, the paper read,

NO OBAMA SUPPORTERS WELCOME HERE.

And underneath it was another sheet of paper with a lengthy quote from Karl Marx's Communist Manifesto. Both of our jaws dropped. We weren't sure what was scarier - the costumes or the sign. Or the though process behind posting the sign...on a holiday. And then the door opened to festivities and fun.

All we could think of is what would have happened if we posted that on our front doors, one in the San Francisco Bay Area and the other in Manhattan. I'm pretty sure I would have had bullet holes in my door. Or tagged with obscenities. Or both. Only in Texas. What the what??!!

ADVENTURE 2

Lunch adventure day 2. This time with another coworker who's purpose was to tell me the "unwritten rules" of the company. Subway humbled my foodie expectations, so I was eager to see where our destination would be. We landed here:

Picture it during the day in an abandoned strip mall overlooking the Interstate 45. When we walked inside, she said to me, "Now listen, I normally don't come here because a lot of folks from the company are usually here." As she says this, she's waving to various parties. She goes on to say "I need to tell you the unwritten rules, so we need to be careful where we sit. You can choose between the corner in the back or that table over there by the window". I've never been told the "unwritten rules" so I opted for the window table.

My favorite part of the meal, other than the unwritten rules, was my sweet coworker who right before I took my first bite, bowed her head. And as she looked up, I asked her if she blessed my burger. She said she did. And I was so grateful to be with her. In almost ten years of working in corporate America, I've never seen a coworker pray over a meal. God bless Texas.

ADVENTURE 1

My first day on the job. My client's office is by Hobby Airport (my current project is for an aviation company called Universal Weather & Aviation, Inc.), which is the boonies. Technically it's in Southern Houston, which I've affectionately coined "SoHo". But to get here, you get off the 45, drive by a few strip clubs, a run down Marriott, turn right at a random field on Tallyho Drive, drive past some run down homes and what looks like abandoned office space, and land at flat, 2 story, wide beige building that reminds me of a government building from the late 60's.

As the morning progresses I wonder what the lunch culture is like, and then I receive an email and then, one team member walks by and enthusiastically announces the lunch spot for the day - Subway! Being the new girl and not trying to reveal my NYC culinary snobbery that's taken it's deepest root in the past year, I excitedly join him. And just as I'm about to order, he says, "No wait, I have a coupon!" A coupon? At Subway? Aren't these sandwiches only $5? My lunch that day was cheaper than any cab ride I've ever taken. And I walked out the door with 2 six-inch subs. Goodbye Chelsea Market, hello Texas hospitality.

It's Blog Time!

I've never had a strong desire to start a blog...until I moved to Texas (which for the record was a week ago). I've always felt like putting the time into one should produce something consistently fabulous and that the blogosphere was saturated with people doing just that. As the past 7 days have gone by, at least one experience a day, has caused me to say out loud (whether or not I had an audience) one or more of the following phrases: "Are you serious?! Where am I?? "Only in Texas." "Wow, this is too good." and "You can't make this stuff up." Figured now's as good a time as any to share the love and blog about this very unexpected adventure I've signed up for. I owe these stories to you, to someone, trust me.

Some context - I've lived in Manhattan for 7 years, with an interlude in sunny San Diego and exotic international destinations in between. Being a California native, I've never considered myself to be a "Yankee", until I began interviewing with several west coast companies, including many in my blessed Bay Area and heard them (or felt them) say, "So you're the city girl, the New Yorker right?" I don't want to step on any "real" New Yorker's toes, I'm aware of the 10 year policy, but I will say with my professional development shaped in New York City, the northeast has certainly rubbed off on me, whether or not I noticed it. And I'm certainly feeling it here in Texas, a state I've respected from afar, but never seen myself living in. I've worked with Texans and loved all of them, I've had many a layover in Mr. Bush's airport, had the pleasure of visiting the charming and eccentric Austin, but never had I seen myself here, certainly not so soon. And not in Houston.

But thanks to a professional journey I dreamt up this summer, here I am. As a friend of a friend told me, after I expressed my admiration for Texans strong culture and opinions (whether or not I agree with them all is another story), "Well Mala, at least you're moving to a place they write songs about." And there you have it folks! This may be the one commonality between California, New York, and Texas. Isn't it a magical one?

Let the adventure begin, I hope you enjoy these moments as moments as much as I have.